Getting Back To Where I Started

Tuesday, May 29, 2012 11:43 AM Posted by Lovely Fluffy Mama
Hi all!!! As of late, I have been getting so distracted with making diapers, selling diapers, doing giveaways, sponsoring giveaways, keeping up with all of the Facebook "groups" and such, that I have completely gotten away from using this blog for it's original purpose. I started this blog as a way for me to share my feelings, connect with other parents, and be a positive and uplifting source for those who choose to read. I apologize for getting away from all of that. And to be completely transparent with all of you, I have also gotten away from the joys and responsibilities of being a stay at home mom because I have been so focused on all of these other things.

I am truly blessed and grateful that I have been given the option to stay at home with my beautiful and precious children. My husband Ryan is amazing and does everything he possibly can to provide a comfortable lifestyle for us. For a long time, I felt so guilty because I was not providing financially for the family. I have made a lot of changes in order to cut back on expenses, such as switching to cloth diapers, using cloth in the kitchen, using the clothes line more often to dry clothes instead of the dryer, cancelling cable tv, switching to a lower speed internet, making homemade meals and snacks, etc. But I never felt like it was enough. Not because Ryan made me feel that way, but because I made myself feel that way. 

Ryan has always found a way to make money. I have never had to worry about that. We have owned businesses, sold businesses, he has had "regular" 9-5 type of jobs, sales jobs, traveling jobs, and he has freelanced as a subcontractor taking side jobs as they came up. He works incredibly hard so that our kids can stay home with me and grow up comfortably in their own environment. If he wanted me to work, he would ask me to find a job. He has never pressured me into making money, and I appreciate that so much. The added pressure on me has been put there solely by me. The whole reason he does what he does, is because he truly wants me to stay home and raise our kids! And you know what? I want that too!

Sometimes people question my decision to stay home: "You have a Bachelor of Science in Nursing degree. Why aren't you using it?" Why on earth would I want to spend 12+hours/day with people who don't care about me, working my butt off doing something that I don't even really like doing? Especially when I don't have to?? It's not that I have anything against nurses or any part the medical field. I wouldn't have gone through college to get a degree in the health/medical field if there wasn't something appealing about it to me. But just because I have the background doesn't mean that my life has to be centered around it. Was college a waste then? No way! College was great! Life experiences, friendships, awesome education, independence - it was well worth it! But, now that I have a family, my focus is on giving my all to them and not giving my all elsewhere. 

I understand that not everyone has the opportunity to stay home with their kids. I get it. Everyone has to do what they have to do to provide the best for themselves and for their families. And you better believe that if Ryan ever asks me to return to work, I would and should do it. In fact, after our 1st child was born, Ryan did ask me to return to work when our daughter was about 6 months old. And I did. And it worked out fine. And I was able to return home later that year and haven't been back to work in almost 3 years now. What I am getting at is that I have realized that I am what is best for my family, and I should be taking full advantage of the opportunity that God has given me through my husband, and stop feeling guilty about not providing financially because I am providing a life for my kids that no one else could provide for them. 

My babes are 2 yrs and 3 yrs old. They will not be little and young and innocent forever. I want to spend as much time with them as I possibly can. Connecting with them, providing for them, teaching them, having fun with them, supporting them, being there for them. And with all of that being said, I am getting back to where I started with this blog. I will still do reviews, giveaways, sponsor events, make and sell diapers, etc. But all of those things will always come second to my family and what matters most to me and my husband. This blog is getting back to sharing playtime activities, yummy recipes, positive thoughts, family values, "green" tips and ideas, and simply sharing the fun and humor in life!

A big thank you to all who take the time to read my thoughts - I appreciate you! Now, let's all have some fun and get back to where we started with this whole thing!

~ Jessica