FYI: This post is a tad lengthy, but I need to explain some things first - by the time you are reading this post, I will be backtracking some, so try not to be confused ;)
A Little Background:
This is pregnancy #3 for me and my husband Ryan. We have two beautiful little ones - our little princess Riley is 3 and our handsome prince Noah is 2. We always knew we wanted to have at least one more baby, but didn't really know when. My first 2 pregnancies were a breeze. In fact, we got pregnant immediately (on our honeymoon) and weren't even trying! (Well, we weren't exactly doing our best to prevent it either, but you know what I mean hehe). Piece of cake pregnancy - no morning sickness, not a lot of weird cravings (except at the end I drank about a gallon of milk every day - seriously I had to have it!!), I didn't even show with that pregnancy until I was almost 6 months pregnant! I was induced at 37 weeks only because she was tiny and the doctor wanted to be sure she wasn't tiny because of lack of oxygen flow. Turns out she is just tiny, no health issues whatsoever. Labor was extremely short, about 4 hours total, from breaking my water to Riley screaming her little lungs out on my chest :) In fact, it was so short, by the time I asked for the epidural, it was too late! I was already 10cm dilated and she was ready to make her entrance!
My second pregnancy happened when Riley was about 6 months old, and I misplaced my birth control pills while the interior of our house was being painted and we moved out for about 3 days during that time. Again, we weren't really taking the appropriate measures to prevent the pregnancy, but it happened after only missing about 2 days of the pill - doesn't take much! But again, no morning sickness, I showed a little earlier that time around, no weird cravings (except for Nathan's corn dogs and cheese fries, and anything spicy - so nothing weird, just completely unhealthy lol), he was an average sized baby, but I ended up being induced again, only because he went past his due date and I couldn't handle it anymore! Short labor, even shorter than my first one - less than 3 hours total. Severe back labor, but again, I waited too long to ask for the epidural (you'd think I would have learned to ask for it immediately upon arrival after having gone through the last labor and deliver without one), so Noah was also born without any pain meds - WOW! That's all I can say - it is a pain like no other! lol
So because it has been so easy for us to get pregnant, we really wanted to wait and actually plan for #3. And so we did. We waited for about 2 years to try again. Except this time it wasn't so easy. Thankfully, it only took 3 - 4 months after really trying (I know that's nothing, but for us it seemed like forever, so I really feel for those that have had to wait much much longer and are possibly in the process of still trying and waiting - i.e. my mom and dad tried for 8 years to get pregnant with me!!!). At the time we started trying again, Ryan had a new job and the future was looking great! We were talking about moving beachside (my dream!), and spending Christmas in a new home! It was all just so exciting!
Then, one day, Ryan came home from work earlier than I was expecting. I was actually expecting him home a little early, because we planned on going to a basketball game that evening and he needed to leave a little early so we wouldn't be late. But he came home a few hours earlier than I was even expecting him. He got layed off. Talk about emotional rollercoaster. We went from talking about moving to a beach house, planning our Christmas in a new home, to being jobless and falling behind on our bills, and then finding out about our pregnancy all within a matter of weeks.
The Explanation (for not telling anyone sooner):
We originally wanted to tell everyone after my first doctor's visit (which I was planning on being somewhere around 8 weeks), but since week after week I wasn't able to get an appointment, and then it turned out that I wasn't able to get in to see anyone until 17 weeks (almost time for our gender reveal ultrasound), we decided to just wait until we knew the gender to make the announcement. There was also just no way I could tell my friends and family about our pregnancy before then. They would be so disappointed in us (self-imposed, negative thoughts). I could feel the judgment already (again, this feeling was self-imposed - I would hope that nobody would truly judge us). The pregnancy itself was going great, but I just imagined our situation being better than it was. Ryan had no job. I had no job. He picked up side jobs with his dad (construction) and other friends (lawn care) and traveled every weekend (it ended up being every Wednesday or Thursday - Monday) selling athletic bands at iron man competitions and marathons. And I have been making/selling cloth diapers in between all the craziness that comes with having 2 young children at home. It was crazy!!! Nothing stable, our income has been all over the place this year. Ryan was working and traveling all the time! Then there was the issue with my insurance! Ahhh! Such a trying time. But as trying as this all has been (and to some, this may seem like nothing), I am so very thankful that my family is extremely healthy and that I have been able to stay home and raise my 2 little ones, even through difficult financial times. And I am also thankful that this pregnancy has been such a breeze for me, with no issues whatsoever.
Meanwhile, I have been trying to keep this pregnancy on the down low, but it has not been easy!! Not telling anyone wasn't the hard part. The fear of judgment from everyone has made it quite easy for me to keep it a secret. Thankfully, I have had no morning sickness or any food aversions or cravings, so it hasn't been too hard to keep it under wraps in that sense. Physically hiding it has been the hard part. I have been showing since I was somewhere between 8 - 10 weeks! Here's my belly at 12 weeks:
Not exactly easy to hide that!
I am now 15 weeks pregnant while writing this, and I have been sucking it in, wearing loose shirts, staying at home, etc. doing everything possible to hide my growing belly until after my first doctor's appointment (which again won't be until I am 17 weeks along) and first ultrasound.
The good news is, Ryan has a stable job now, he has been promoted in the short amount of time he's been there, my insurance issue has been straightened out, we will be getting a decent return from the IRS soon from a mix-up of sorts so we will be able to catch up on all bills and such, there is another possible house for us to move into (not my dream beach location but a great area and much closer to Ryan's work), and I have an appointment to finally see a doctor. God has always pulled through for us, and I know that He always will, but it isn't always easy to see the victory while you are going through the struggle - that's where FAITH comes into play :) Anyway, after our first ultrasound, I will be more than ready and excited to tell everyone the wonderful news!!
In fact, I won't even be publishing this post until after we make the announcement!
So to all my friends and family that are reading, I apologize for keeping everyone in the dark for so long. And if you have been questioning whether I am pregnant or just simply getting fat and "letting myself go" over the past 4 months, now you know lol!
P.S. It's a GIRL!!!!
More pictures and other fun stuff to come right
here!
~ Jessica
